Some Hard Choices

I don't know if I've said so on this blog, but I know I've remarked to people that full-time RV living offers a real opportunity for a person to sort out just what is important to them. It's almost like you're on sabbatical, away from the habits of your old life, away from your old obligations, forced to make choices instead of just treading your comfortable, well-worn rut. You have to make decisions about how you'll use your time. Your space is limited, so you have to be discriminating about what things you have. You'll have to discover how to interact with all the people you'll meet.  If you're like most of us, there are money challenges, too. Unless you're a lot wealthier than we are, you simply can't live each day as if you're on a vacation, but you don't want to miss out on what you traveled so far to see.

As I mentioned yesterday, it's time for spring cleaning as we get the trailer ready to roll again. I started with the bedroom, at the front of the rig. Emptied all the cupboards, cleaned, washed the bedding while I was at it. It's important to check every nook and cranny fairly often, as you'll sometimes find little places where a little moisture has built up, and then you know to watch that spot. This time, I learned that I need to occasionally wipe out the place where the nightstand top meets the walls, way back in the corner. When I find a spot like that, I give it a little spray of Lysol to kill any little bits of mold that might have formed.

The most time-consuming part of the day was sorting out the mess that had accumulated in the underbed storage area. We had developed the habit of just lifting the bed far enough to chuck things in, I'm ashamed to admit.

I piled everything in the main room and began sorting and replacing. I found I was agonizing over my two good-sized baskets of fabric. We've been in the trailer 17 months and I don't remember making anything with any of this fabric. I wanted to. I could.  I even brought some patterns. I have a sewing machine, specially picked out for this RV life, and which I use for curtains, mending, and so on. I set some of the material aside for the thrift shop. Put it back in the baskets. Repeated. Agonized. Then told myself I would sew all sorts cute things, and repacked everything under the bed. And it looked really nice, with a big empty spot (because I'd organized, not because I'd removed much).

Some of what you see will be off-loaded at some point. The baritone ukulele? Love it, but I upgraded to a 3/4 size classical guitar I found at the thrift store. One of my grandchildren will be getting the uke. The pretty quilt? That's from the house. It has matching pillow shams. It looked beautiful on the bed, until our big white poodle jumped up on the bed with dirty feet. Over and over. So I would wash it. Over and over. It wasn't good for the quilt; for a long time I tried to protect the quilt, and then I accepted the truth; my dog wasn't going to stop napping on the bed. So, that quilt will find a new home; I think my daughter can use it. I replaced it with this blanket, found on clearance. It's much easier to keep looking nice.

I'd way rather give up the quilt than Tasha, the poodle.

After I thought I was done, I realized I hadn't been honest with myself. I'll tell you something I've mostly kept to myself, until lately. All my life I've wanted to be a writer but haven't done much about it. In January I started an online writing class, and I've been working on some story ideas; I want to really give it an honest effort, and this RV journey of ours is an ideal time to do it, IF I don't dribble away all my time. Here I get into choices again. Writing takes time. I have to make some careful choices about how I use my time, or the writing won't happen. A day or two ago I saw a plaque with this message:

You can do anything.

You can't do everything.

I thought about the baskets of fabric, and I thought about the message. I have many interests, and there is not enough time to do all of them justice. I've always tried to do everything, at once, as if I were Superwoman, and it has never worked, so I suspect it won't in the future, either.  If the writing is really important to me, I have to make it a priority.  I practice music most days and am not willing to give that up; I've been a musician most of my life. I have been learning watercolor painting, also a lifelong dream. And I enjoy knitting. There are other interests, too, but I am setting them aside, deliberately. Those two baskets of fabric are taking up room in my life, and in the trailer.

So I choose:

• Most importantly, I want to be a writer. Every day, I will write.
• I am a musician, and most days I practice for about an hour.
• Painting pictures fulfills a dream and helps me really see the world, really look at it.  I think it will support my writing, but I will only paint if I have kept up with my writing.
• Knitting is meditative and a wonderful way to make special gifts. Last Christmas we made all our gifts. Knitting can be set aside when time is tight, and I will limit myself to small projects that only require a skein or two, perfect for keeping up with my gift list.

The two baskets of fabric seem to have become a metaphor, haven't they?